Home is where Your WiFi Connects Automatically.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Man cannot live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.
If each day was a gift, I would like to know where to return Monday
Today is Valentine's Day or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day
Birthdays are nature's way of telling you to eat more cake
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia
Whoever said money cannot buy happiness didn't know where to shop